I don’t mean to disappoint all of my friends and family. I don’t mean to give anyone the cold shoulder, or even bitch to them. My intentions are to make everyone happy, and it never works out. Everyone just turns away from me, without warning or giving me a chance to fix it. I put everyone’s happiness before mine, but it’s really never enough. I lose friends constantly. Which makes me think, it they’re that quick to go they mustn’t of cared that much, or maybe I really am just a big piece of shit. I just truly hate myself. And don’t see the point of even living anymore, the only reason I wouldn’t just end it right now is a few select people. Who would actually care. A few meaning I can count them on one hand. I’m tired of being judged and having to take anything and everything thrown at me. I’m done w/ this big shield that makes me stronger, bc it’s cracked. It’s just not that easy anymore, and it’s not getting any better.